In many Nigerian cultures, high wedding costs are often seen as a symbol of the groom’s commitment and ability to provide. But in reality, these financial demands can place couples under severe strain, leading to poverty and hardship soon after the ceremony.
I also come from a tribe whose marriage requirements are far less intense than those of many ethnic groups in Nasarawa State and beyond.
From experience, marrying into the Eggon ethnic group typically involves a long list of items. These include gallons of palm oil and palm wine, cartons of beer and soft drinks, boxes of clothes for the bride; cash gifts for her parents and extended relatives, wrappers and other clothing materials, and at least eight basins, depending on the family, goat or pork meat, and palm oil.
This is just a glimpse into the traditional rites, and while the process may seem overwhelming, there is room for negotiation.
One commendable aspect of Eggon tradition is that the groom’s family is allowed to express concerns about the list. This opens the door to adjustments and compromises before a wedding date is fixed, a practice common in many Nigerian cultures.
However, expectations around food can be misleading. Those eight basins of beans, for instance, are not meant for all guests. They’re typically reserved for select relatives and dignitaries, and the distribution process often sparks complaints from those who feel left out.
Recently, the paramount ruler of the Eggon people, HRH Justice Ahmed Ubangari (rtd), received a formal report on reviewing the bride price structure.
For me, this was the most encouraging news to come out of Eggon land in years. Many others shared similar sentiments online, celebrating the possibility of a more inclusive and less burdensome tradition.
Marriage should be built on mutual understanding, not financial exhaustion. The idea that high bride prices guarantee a woman’s value or a man’s seriousness is flawed.
In fact, some of the most loving and committed partners come from unions where little or no money exchanged hands.
The pressure on young women to uphold costly traditional practices often silences their true feelings. Some believe that if a man cannot meet the financial demands, he isn’t serious, but this mindset can be damaging.
A woman’s worth as a life partner isn’t measured by how much her family demands, but by her character, values, and willingness to grow with her spouse.
Revisiting and revising traditional wedding requirements, especially in communities like Eggon, is not a rejection of culture. It’s a necessary evolution that prioritizes love, sustainability, and the future of young couples.
Submission by: Daniel Pishikeni (Lafia, Nasarawa State-Nigeria)
