Celebrated Nigerian dancer and choreographer, Kafayat Shafau widely known as Kaffy has opened up about her journey through divorce, single motherhood, and the societal stigma that often shadows women who’ve left their marriages.
In a heartfelt conversation on the Honest Bunch podcast, Kaffy challenged the cultural obsession with marrying “fresh” individuals, arguing that a person’s past – especially one marked by growth and healing – should not disqualify them from love.
“I have had someone tell me because I am a single mother, they can’t even think of dating me because I have two children,” she revealed.
Kaffy emphasized that divorced women who have worked on themselves may be even better suited for healthy relationships than those entering marriage for the first time.
“What makes you think that a woman that has been divorced is not even the better candidate if she has worked on herself?” she asked. “What’s the guarantee that two single people today are not going to be divorced tomorrow?”
She also pointed to the alarming global divorce rate, noting that over 70% of marriages end in separation.
“You’re part of the 70 percent,” she said, addressing those who believe marrying someone without prior marital experience guarantees success.
Beyond the stigma, Kaffy tackled misconceptions about love itself. She warned that many people confuse emotional chaos with genuine affection.
“The butterflies in your tummy are a trauma response. Real love brings peace, not butterflies. Real love is not supposed to make you anxious,” she explained.
Reflecting on her own post-divorce experience, Kaffy described the emotional toll of rebuilding her life while raising two children. She affirmed her values and discipline, saying:
“I know how responsible I am as a woman. I don’t sleep around, I don’t do casual stuff,” she said, pushing back against harmful stereotypes.
Kaffy was previously married to Joseph Ameh, former drummer of Psquare. The couple wed in a lavish ceremony on June 2, 2012, in Lagos, and had two children before officially parting ways.
