In a time when many marriages are strained by pride, ego, and emotional distance, Nigerian pastor and marriage counselor Bisi Adewale is challenging couples to embrace what he calls “stupid” love – a radical, countercultural approach to building exceptional relationships.
His now-viral article, “31 ‘Stupid’ Things You Must Do to Have an Exceptional Marriage,” redefines the word “stupid” as actions that may seem unreasonable to outsiders but are deeply wise to those committed to lasting love.
Adewale argues that true intimacy is not built on luck or fleeting emotions, but on humility, sacrifice, and daily intentionality.
Among the 31 principles, he urges couples to say “I’m sorry” even when they believe they’re right, forgive quickly and fully, and serve each other with joy rather than obligation.
He encourages spouses to laugh at each other’s dry jokes, applaud effort over success, and protect their marriage from third-party interference – all of which may seem trivial or even foolish to the modern mind, but are essential to nurturing connection.
“People may call you foolish for loving deeply,” Adewale writes, “but those who do these things consistently will enjoy the kind of marriage most people only dream of.”
The list has sparked widespread conversation across social media and faith communities, with many praising its honesty and emotional depth.
Critics, however, question whether such selflessness is sustainable in today’s fast-paced, individualistic world. Yet for many couples, Adewale’s advice has become a blueprint for healing, growth, and renewed intimacy.
As interest grows, there are talks of expanding the concept into a book, teaching series, and digital campaign aimed at helping couples rediscover the beauty of sacrificial love.
Whether one agrees with every item on the list or not, the message is clear: exceptional marriages are built not on grand gestures, but on small, consistent acts of radical kindness.
